Volume 3, Number 6, Page 7

Dear Prudence and Camilla; Letters to the Editor; A Letter From the Editor; Mission Statement of the Month

Letters To The Editor
Dear whoever wants a letter,
 I like you and I want to be your friend.  If you have no friends, than [SIC]
this letter is for you because you need a letter.  Goodbye.


Dear Editor,
 Hello.  We would just like to comment on the courage of those two intrepid
columnists, Prudence and Camilla.  While they have shown their bravery in
countless other ways throughout the years, looking those Congresspeople in
the eyes and saying "Yes, the President had an affair not only with us, but
with a moose" really took guts.  Prudence and Camilla should be commended.

Sincerely,
		Poodence and Camelma


Dear Prudence and Camilla
Dear Prudence and Camilla,
 In case you cannot recognize this because you have forgotten what a letter
is, due to your lack of them, I can relieve your confusion.  This is a real
letter to "Prudence and Camilla", from a happy subscriber and fan!  Holy
garbanzo beans!  It's true.  I do not know exactly why I am writing this
letter.  Perhaps it is an act of extreme pity, or maybe my hand has been
abducted by aliens who are forcing me to write.  Whatever the reason, I hope
it pleases you, and that no cardiac arrests have been caused by my doing so.

 I suppose that I do have some advice to ask you.  You see, I have an
embarrassing problem.  Well, more of a compelling fantasy, actually.  I have
this longing, this need to go sliding down a giant spoon into a humongous
bowl of green JELL-O!  (It must be green.)  I dream of swimming around in
that cool, slimy substance (whatever it's made of), and wishing never to
leave.  Shhh, please don't laugh.  I think I really need some help.  If you
could, in any way, aid me in overcoming this fetish, I would be eternally
grateful.  I may even go as far as submitting another letter.

Your Friend,
		E. M. E.


Dear Emu,
 Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!  Thank you!  If
you cannot tell, we really appreciate the letter.  (Ed. is never going to
hear the end of this, is (s)he?)

 In response to the problem you posed:  We think that what your subconscious
is trying to tell you is to write more letters to-us!  By coming up with a
situation as absurd strange unique as the one you presented, you forced
yourself to write to us.  Now, it wasn't that bad, was it?  To avoid
excessive thoughts about green JELL-O, simply write us more often.  Listen to
what your inner self is telling you.  Don't worry, we do it all the time.

 We have to go now and eat dinner.  Our lime JELL-O is getting fusty.

		Pud and Cam


A Letter From The Editor

 Well, I hope that you have enjoyed this issue of the OUMMCBNOM.  Again, I
apologize for its unexcusable tardiness.  Remember that the mission statement
contest will soon be over, and if you have a mission to submit, now is the
time to do so.  The deadline for submissions will be Tuesday, February 1.

 Also, do not forget the exciting GOBRFRL.  I hope to see you there!

Mission of the Month
Mission code number "9"
	(Based on the Jewish Family Service Child Placement and Adoption Mission
	Statement.)
  "The major services for subscribers provided by our newsletter are adoption,
  foster care and institutional care.  These services are utilized when it is
  determined that the subscriber cannot remain with his/her/it's birth
  parent(s) or legal guardians in one household.  The OUMMCBNOM is committed
  through its subscriber placement work to ensure that the subscriber is reared
  as OUMMCBNOMish in and OUMMCBNOMish environment or in an environment which
  will foster OUMMCBNOMishness.  This does not apply in designated adoptions
  where the service may be provided to non-OUMMCBNOMish clientele.  The best
  interests of the subscriber will be served in any placement."

MICHIGAN TEEN DEMOCRATS (now known as the Oakland County Teen Democrats)
MEETINGS ARE HELD EVERY FRIDAY AT 7 PM.  (Not anymore, Sundays, every so often)
FOR MORE INFORMATION, WRITE TO KT BECKER@AOL.COM.
OUR NEXT MEETING, WITH GUEST STATE REP. MAXINE BERMAN, WILL BE
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 24.

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